“Surely the thing that really rankles about Richard Timney’s habits is not that he watches pay-per-view porn, but that he’s such a crap bookkeeper? With keyboard-clackers losing their jobs like Tommies going over the desktop no one can afford to have makeweights on the payroll like Timney, but Jacqui Smith has been dobbing him somewhere between 20 and 40 grand a year to play the part of her ‘constituency aide’.
“I don’t happen to think pornography is a victimless crime: on the end of that remote control button is not some free-spirited – yet entirely well-adjusted – nymphomaniac, but a collection of miserable and tranquilised emotional zombies.”
To read the rest of Will Self’s First Post column, go here.