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On the huge vats of alcohol-dependents

January 22, 2008

Wet outside it may have been, but for many Londoners January has been a dry month. Lots of people, after the excesses of the festive season, make a point of renouncing alcohol for the first gloomy part of the year. Some will find abstinence unutterably tedious and stressful, others will experience it as a mild drag, still more will be pleasurably surprised by how easy it is.

For all the public health blether that gets spouted, it remains surprising how level-headed most people are when it comes to their boozing. Most understand fine well when they’re drinking too much without having to count units. Speaking as a recovering alcoholic myself, I often think I have little useful to add to the debate. But from my own eight years’ clear-eyed observation of the tipplers that surround me, I can distil a few drops of wisdom.

First, there is the widely acknowledged truth that it’s not the quantity that is drunk that defines whether you have a problem. Mostly the reaction of the individual to what he or she drinks is the key test: alcoholics abreact to booze. On one occasion they’ll sip sherry in a civilised fashion, on the next — seemingly without rhyme or reason — they’ll end up under Hungerford Bridge swigging fortified wine.

This unpredictability is also what distinguishes the true alcoholic from those who are alcohol-dependent but haven’t yet bought the whole pathological packet. There are huge vats of such people in this country — how could it not be otherwise? Ninety per cent of British adults drink, many every day of their lives. We are an alcohol-dependent culture, relying on it as the lubricant for births, marriages, deaths and everything in between. But for the most part these citizens are not significantly more likely to develop a full-blown problem than others who barely sup.

Which brings us to the Mayor of London, who was accused last night, in Channel 4’s Dispatches programme, of drinking scotch at his Mayoral Questions at 10am one morning. A tad louche Mr Livingstone’s behaviour may have been, but there’s no way, in and of itself, that it means he’s an alcoholic. Alcohol-dependent, perhaps, but that’s quite a different thing.

Indeed, I’d suggest that the overpowering urge that some feel to judge others’ drinking habits is itself a far more alcoholic trait than mere tippling. It’s alcoholics who constantly seek to compare themselves in this way, usually selecting some skid-row type against whose excesses their own transgressions appear minimised. It’s alcoholics who are obsessed by the minutiae of units and not drinking before X o’clock — because it’s they who are unable to control themselves once they get started. Indeed, overall, the accusations against the Mayor — and the wider culture that they reflect — seem to suggest that some commentators shouldn’t merely abstain from alcohol during January but all intemperance.

21.01.08

Will’s Latest Book

Will Self - Elaine
Will Self's latest book Elaine will be published in hardback by Grove on September 5 2024 in the UK and September 17 2024 in the USA.

You can pre-order at Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com

Will’s Previous Books

Will Self - Will
Will
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  Will Self - Phone
Phone
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Amazon.com
Shark
Shark
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Amazon.com
  Umbrella
Umbrella
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Amazon.com
The Unbearable Lightness Of Being A Prawn Cracker
The Unbearable Lightness Of Being A Prawn Cracker
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  Walking To Hollywood
Walking To Hollywood
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Amazon.com
The Butt
The Butt
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Amazon.com
  Grey Area
Grey Area
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Amazon.com
Junk Mail
Junk Mail
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Amazon.com
  Great Apes
Great Apes
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Amazon.com
Cock And Bull
Cock And Bull
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Amazon.com
  The Quantity Theory Of Insanity
The Quantity Theory Of Insanity
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Amazon.com
The Sweet Smell Of Psychosis
The Sweet Smell of Psychosis
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Amazon.com
  My Idea Of Fun
My Idea Of Fun
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Amazon.com
The Book Of Dave
The Book Of Dave
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Amazon.com
  Psychogeography
Psychogeography
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Psycho Too
Psycho II
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  Liver
Liver
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How The Dead Live
How The Dead Live
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Amazon.com
  Tough Tough Toys For Tough Tough Boys
Tough Tough Toys For Tough Tough Boys
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Amazon.com
Dr Mukti And Other Tales Of Woe
Dr Mukti And Other Tales Of Woe
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Amazon.com
  Dorian
Dorian
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Amazon.com
Feeding Frenzy
Feeding Frenzy
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Amazon.com
  Sore Sites
Sore Sites
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Amazon.com
Perfidious Man
Perfidious Man
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Amazon.com
  The Undivided Self
The Undivided Self
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Amazon.com
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