Karl Pilkington on Channel 4

Will is going to appear on Comey Lab: Karl Pilkington — Satisfied Fool on Channel 4 on October 22, 11.05pm. “After disappointing exam results nineteen years ago, Karl Pilkington looks to find out if more intelligence and knowledge will make him happy by meeting some well-known intellectuals.”

Watch it here on YouTube.

Flight of Fancy

Norman Foster comes to me: “I’m sorry,” he moans pitifully, shaking the cuffs of his shirt as if he was Marley’s ghost and they were silken chains. “Sorry…?” I gag on mucous sleep. “What the hell for?”

“Stansted,” the architect wails. “I never should’ve designed it that way. True, it looked good on the back of the envelope — and elegant once my team had put it on the Cad system, but I now realise that it’s a monstrous wedge of a building, a static plane crash of a structure, forever ramming a humungous divot out of the living, beating heart of old England! Aaaargh! Euurgh! Oh woe is little me!”

Growing bald disgracefully

“I went to a barber’s shop in Greek Street, Soho, about a month ago and realised that it was only the third time I have been to one in my entire life. In the mean old brilliantined days, small boys were forced to sit on a plank placed across the arms of the barber’s chair, and this, I contend, made them scowl, because they were the objects of ridicule. Consequently, I refused to go to a barber and preferred to cut off my own hair when necessary.